Peaceful setting this week!

This is the setting of where I'm doing my studies this week. A beautiful house in Bourgogne, France. After a 45 mins Yoga practice and hot tea by my side, studying could not get any better! I'm writing about vertical grouping in a classroom and will share my assignment on the blog as soon as it's been corrected by my tutor! Happy wednesday! 

Le Jardin des Plantes

 
 
There's a boat called "batobus" which stops at several destinations around Paris. I took the boys to the Eiffel Tower today to take the boat from there. We spend around half an hour on the boat and then get off at Jardin des Plantes which is a beautiful, fun place for children. It's outdoors and you can go in to the "animal park" to look at all these different kinds of animals. M was in charge of the map and leading us to our different animal destinations - the cutest guide ever! He insists that we stop and listen to him, then he put's his serious face on and points on a place of the map where he thinks there will be a tiger or a crocodile and he tells us we have to turn left here, then we follow him to the right.. It's not a huge place so we always end up at the right place anyway! L enjoys my camera very much and I have to say he is a natural! He takes beautiful photos, I'm truly amazed! We ended up spending hours here, just walking around looking at the animals, playing and taking photos. 
 

To work and live with a dysfunctional family

I was on the inside. And when you are on the inside of a difficult, emotionally demanding and challenging situation, the only thing to do is get through the day. You set your attitude, you decide to be patient and understanding. This is the only thing you can decide and control. The only thing you should be able to decide and control. Your attitude. The first time I worked with a dysfunctional family I lived with them for 8 months. I took care of their 4 girls. Their 4 freckled red haired girls. They were amazing. They were little miracles like all children are. I fell head over heels inlove with them. I was left caring for them when their mother closed the door, shut the world out and drank. That sounds like what I should be writing - that the worst part was the drinking but thats completely and utterly false. She couldn't stand herself, I couldn't stand her, no one who knew her could stand her and that's why she drank. She was mean, manipulative and worse of all - she made her children feel as bad and horrible about themselves as her parents probably made her feel (saying that having met her father). And when she was drunk, she was loving and kind and funny! Did it bring out her true self? Was alcohol her nurturing mother that she never had? I didn't judge, I didn't try to change her or even reach her, I just felt. I felt everything. The guilt she put on me, the blame, the worrying. I was on my tiptoes. 

 

I started out always thinking of the children. Their happiness. What seemed to be important to them. How to lead, how to follow. I ended up thinking only of the mother. How to handle HER. Thoughts of the children faded. This is the guilt I carry today still. Although it's not heavy, it's like a light reminder to keep my focus on the children. A lesson learned that I refuse to forget. 

 

Thoughts of what I could do for the children, thoughts of how they were really effected by their parents didn’t show up until I had left. The oldest girl, 9 years old, was always worried about her mother. She would get up early to make her mother breakfast when she was “sick”. She would stroke her hair. She always wanted to be in the room where her mother was sleeping. She was an angel when her mother was drunk but normally I would have my body full of bruises cos she was very violent. The younger girls would seem unbalanced but they were so young they didn’t understand. They felt their mothers distance when she was drinking and the 5year old would have more tantrums when her mother was “sick”. The youngest ones were 2 and 3. Everything was easier when the mother was drunk and distant. That was the true nightmare. 

 

It was the mother’s secret. She only talked about it when she was drunk. Otherwise it was pretty much ignored in the family but the 9 year old, she knew. And she wanted desperately to fix it for her mother. I believe the most important thing I learnt form them all, was that children who grow up with parents who abuse them in any way, with words, violence or sexually, they don’t stop loving their parents they just start disliking or hating themselves.

 

It took me 8 months to realize I was incredibly unhappy. I was lost and unbalanced. I was 18. Miserable in my little Irish dream come true. I had been dreaming of Ireland since I was a child. I would leave the house when ever I could, to walk, to sit, to look, to take comfort in the nature. In the streets, in the ocean, in the wind. I would go out in the pouring rain. Ireland is like a poem you cant put into rhyme, only feel. It's dramatic, beautiful and true. I'm still dreaming. And remembering. 

 

I started calling social services in Sweden and in Ireland to ask about what would happen to the children if I told anyone about it. No one was really helpful. The Irish social service I called only wanted me to give them a name and address but what would happen with the children? The mother already went to AA meetings almost every day. They told me they had bigger cases than alcoholic parents, since the children were not physically abused. So what would change really? I imagined not much so I never dared to say anything. 

 

A few weeks after I'd left, the mother took an overdose. Some vodka and pills. The new au pair found her on the kitchen floor and probably saved her life calling the ambulance. I thought it might have been a good thing since the social service might be contacted and give the family real help with the children. Instead of unexperienced au pair girls. But no, that didn’t happen.

She couldn't stand herself. She never told me, she may not ever have thought it but it was clear she couldn't stand being her. She failed to figure out how to live her life. It was so hard for her, to live. The girls should be teenagers now and I wonder how they are. We have absolutely no contact. I left them and that was that. The winter storm had me stuck in a hotel in Dublin one day before x-mas and she called me to say that If the flight wouldn't go the next day I should come back, to not be alone on x-mas. I had already left, she could have left me far from her thoughts but she cared. She always cared about everyone, everyone she was mean to, everyone she made feel guilty and bad about themselves. She cared. That was the last I heard from her.

 

Every time I struggle with a child, every time It takes longer than expected to figure out what he/she needs, I feel guilty. This is some kind of scar I carry from this dysfunctional family experience. Guilty for not being able to do better, to be a better influence, a better teacher. The boys I'm working with now, and the parents, are like a soothing balm I can put on my scar when it's aching. If I feel I haven't been good enough, I can fall asleep thinking about the next day as a new opportunity. The children will smile and be happy to see me and the parents will trust me. That I'm doing the best I can and that whatever I'm figuring out I will get there. They have no doubt. So I feel the love and I try again. I put balm on my scar and I get there. 

 

 
 ( Colors from then )

 

 
 

The 3 most important aspects of the Montessori environment, ages 3-6.

Following my visit at the Bilingual Montessori school of Paris which has it’s premises in the building of the absolutely stunning American church, I would name the educational material as one of the three most important aspects of the Montessori environment. This include the five curriculum areas in the classroom which are: 

  1. Practical life. Here we find activities and materials that are taken from the day-to-day life such as pouring water into a glass (for example), washing (using soap, towel, sponge etc), cleaning (cleaning surfaces such as tables and chairs with water and sponge, cleaning up spilled water, cleaning the floor using a broom etc.), threading beads, strings to tie knots, tongs, locks and keys and so forth. The child is usually familiar to these activities as they have seen adults preform them before. This will help develop the child's coordination and concentration skills. It is also a good way to learn to feel independent and to adapt to the world as it is. 
  2. Sensorial. The purpose for the sensorial area in the classroom is to help the child develop the five senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Here we will find material that will include practices of color, form, texture, sound, smell, size, weight etc. There are also usually something healthy to snack in a Montessori classroom. 
  3. Mathematics. This area include material that the child can work with and learn from before they can read or write and assist them with their calculation when they can read and write You should find plenty of mathematical practice material in a Montessori classroom such as the golden beads and number rods. 
  4. Language. In this area of the classroom the children will learn to read and write. You should be able to find different material to use for practice of recognition of letters, the sound of letters, writing exercises etc. 
  5. Cultural. Here you should find activities that will help the child to learn Geography, History, Science, Botany and General knowledge. In this are you should find geographical puzzles, history books, pictures of historical events and historical people and there should always be some plants in a Montessori classroom. 

 

For the children to get a balanced, versatile education it is important that all of the five areas are in the classroom. Maria Montessori carefully chose the materials the children could work with so that they would have educational purposes, be suitable for their ages and interesting for the child. In order for the child to get a Montessori education he/she needs an environment where he/she can express themselves freely and explore, since a big part of the Montessori school and education is about freeing the child from it’s restrictions. 

 

A child is passing through a period of self-realization, and it is enough simply to open up the door for him. (1972b:110)

 

(The bilingual school of Paris/The American church of Pars)

 

The second most important aspect of the Montessori environment would be the furniture. The children need to have access to their work material as the Montessori education allows the children to choose themselves what to work with. The furniture need to be adapted to their size, weight and strength. They should be able to reach and use all material from shelves, sit comfortably and move chairs around, reach the tables, see themselves in mirrors, clean up after themselves, wash material that have become dirty, wash their hands, go to the toilet, put on aprons for doing art or coloring and hang them up after their finished, etc. They should be able to do all of this by themselves as it is a crucial aspect if we are to support the main Montessori philosophy that all children are driven to learn new things by their own curiosity. It is also the only way the teacher can really see the child in order to help him/her educate her/himself. As Maria Montessori mentions in the Discovery of the child: 

 

The children must be free to express themselves and thus reveal those needs and attitudes which would otherwise remain hidden or repressed in an environment that did not permit them to act spontaneously. (1972a:46)

 

I’ve decided to raise the importance of nature and outdoors as my third most important aspect of the Montessori environment. As I study here in Paris I’ve realized that there is not a lot of nature, not a lot of outdoor environment to make use of so it seems it becomes less prioritized. As it might be understandable in a big city like Paris where space and nature is always hard to come by, the importance of the child’s daily contact with nature should not be overlooked. Stephen R. Kellert’s research about the human-nature connection strongly supports that time spent outside daily assists many developmental domains such as spiritual, social, intellectual and emotional. (Kellert: 2005).

And let’s not forget the health benefits! Dr. Frances Kuo is the founder of Human-Environment Research Laboratory (HERL) and describes the positive health affects of exposure to greenery and outdoors as “Vitamin G” where “G” stand for green. She means that exposure to green environment in regular doses works like a vitamin for the body and is just as necessary! (Kuo: 2002) 

These are all good reasons to consider the outdoor environment as one of the most important aspects for the Montessori environment but what I find is the most interesting fact about children and nature is that it seems to be very beneficial and grounding for their spirituality which is important for their happiness, self-love and learning to be comfortable with themselves. Human beings’ connection with nature is just as strong and natural as a flowers connection is to nature. We are a part of it and it’s a part of us. I find it utterly important to introduce the wonderful feeling of being in nature to children. It’s a feeling of belonging and of being hole. Maria Montessori mentions the importance of nature in the discovery of the child:

 

“As a matter of fact, a child needs to live naturally and not simply have knowledge of nature. The most important thing to do is to free the child, if possible, from the ties which keep him isolated in the artificial life of the city. (1972a:67)”

 

BIBLIOGRAPHY:      

 

Montessori, M                                 1972a   The discovery of the child, random house publishing  

                                                                      group, New York. 

 

Montessori, M                                 1972b    The secret of childhood, random house publishing group,                                                                                 

                                                                       New York.

 

Kuo, F                                               2002   InformDesign, Vitamin G for healthy human habitat.

 

Kellert, S                                           2005   Building for Life: Designing and Understanding the                                              

                                                                     Human-Nature Connection, Island Press. 

 

http://naturallearning.org

 

http://ihhl.illinois.edu

 

 

Dragons

Reading and loving Game of Thrones atm so im not surprised this is what came out of me when I took up my pen and touched the paper. 
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